Tips for making your foster child feel at home

You probably already know that fostering is a fulfilling and rewarding experience. However, when you welcome your foster child into your home for the first time, it’s understandable to feel a little anxious. With that said, your foster child will be feeling nervous too, so it’s vital that you make an impression that enables them to relax, and feel comfortable.

To help you along with this, we’ve come up with some tips you can follow that will help your foster child feel right at home.

Know their background

Part of making your foster child feel at home is learning about them before they arrive. Of course, a lot of information will be confidential, and you won’t get an insight unless the child themselves tells you.

However, knowing what you can will help your foster child feel safe and welcome as you understand their preferences. These can include their preferred name, hobbies and interests, and other personal likings, such as favourite music and food.

Communicate openly with your foster child

We often hear about the power of communication. It’s true that honest and open communication is crucial to forming a healthy relationship. One that is founded on understanding and connection helps to curate a bond like no other, which is vital when it comes to fostering.

When your foster child arrives, it’s crucial to communicate openly and effectively. Share who you are, what you value and your passions—share what makes you tick. This makes you relatable and helps them feel comfortable with you as they realise you’re a person with vulnerabilities too. Assure them that you are there to support them, and that they can trust you and come to you with any problems they’re facing.

Create bonding opportunities

By producing opportunities where you and your foster child can bond, you create the conditions for a positive parent-child relationship to form. As they get more comfortable with you, and your connection grows, they start to feel more comfortable around you. Here are some activities you and your foster child can bond over:

• Redecorating the house, like painting a room together. You could even let them pick out a colour or give them the freedom to decorate and paint their own bedroom or private area however they please.
• Spend some time in the garden and interact with nature. You could even plant a tree together that could serve as a memento and a symbol of your time together that they can visit in years to come.
• Cooking a meal together that can be served to the whole family.
• Get to know their interests and hobbies and participate in them.
• Go outdoors and exercise together, like taking a hike in nature or having a kickabout at the beach.

Give your foster child their own space

You’ll need to create a personalised and comfortable space for them with the essentials: a bed, dresser/wardrobe and furnishings. It’s important to make it feel homely, but even better if you are able to tell them that they can add their own personal touches to make it feel more like home to them. You can make a project out of it, taking them shopping for room accessories or allowing them to paint the room their favourite colour, to make it feel more comforting to them. This is also a great way to bond and you can start to get to know your foster child and learn what they like and dislike.

It’s normal for children and young people to want to have their own space where they can have some alone time. When they have time to themselves, they have the freedom to understand who they are and what they’re about – so ensure you are giving them time to themselves too.

A room that they can call their own gives your foster child some privacy and also teaches them independence. It can positively impact their mental and physical health, and instil confidence as they learn to handle things and work through their own limitations independently, in a space that they’re comfortable in.

Have a daily routine

Create a daily routine that includes wake-up and bedtimes, as well as set times for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and designated times for daily activities. Having a routine is essential because it provides children with a sense of security and control over their surroundings. Many foster children may not have experienced this stability, or they might have struggled with it, so a well-organised and consistent home life can significantly help them feel safe, secure, and cared for, particularly during stressful periods.

Can you make a difference?

Around the country, dozens of children enter the care system every day – children who can’t live at home through no fault of their own. We work with local authorities in every region of the UK to meet the growing demand for all types of fostering. Can you become a foster carer and make a difference to a child’s future?

We offer a generous fostering allowance, with exclusive perks and benefits, free training (including specialisms) and exceptional support from your local team of fostering professionals.

If you’re unsure whether you’re eligible, try our Can I Foster? tool, which answers common questions about suitability to foster, based on a personalised Q and A style format. The outcome might surprise you! If you’re ready to chat with one of our fostering advisors, contact your local team.