How do I deal with older foster children: Wanting more freedom?

When foster children hit their teenage years, they’ll inevitably want more freedom. This can usually be viewed as a good thing as it means they’re expressing a healthy desire to gain some independence and think for themselves. It also builds confidence and can broaden their horizons. However, as their carer, you will naturally want them to explore their freedom safely and responsibly. It’s necessary, therefore, that you have a conversation with your foster child and clarify your boundaries and expectations. Here’s some guidance on what you should discuss and express:

• Safety and responsibility – Discuss with your foster child the importance of keeping themselves safe. You should explain to them that with increased freedom comes more responsibility for their own safety.
• Express your expectations and boundaries– Now that your foster child has more freedom, let them know your rules and boundaries. Explain your reasons for them so they know you have their safety and well-being at heart. You may want to express rules regarding communication, when they are expected to be home, their social circle, and which activities they need your permission for.
• Open communication – As their foster parent, it’s understandable to be concerned for their safety now that they have more freedom. To help alleviate this, you should establish clear expectations around communication, such as regular check-ins and discussing beforehand where they’re going and their plans before they head out.